The minute I opened the door, I could feel it. The peace I had been missing for over two years. Have you ever had that experience? You come upon something from earlier times, and suddenly, the experience of that forgotten time comes rushing back. That happened to me this past Saturday when I entered the meditation hall I used to go to before Covid took it away. Not to say I haven’t meditated in those two and a half years; I have, but experiencing it through zoom or on your own is much different than being with a group and a leader in person. Much less honest and peaceful. It all came rushing back. I walked to the rack and removed my shoes in silence. As I entered the meditation hall, my son was walking out to get ready for the job of leading us in meditation and a Dharma talk. As we met, he gave me a big hug in silence. It felt good. Once you enter the center, silence is the language you speak until the practice is over. I welcomed the silence; it felt like an old friend I had been missing.
I found my spot in the back of the room. I use a chair because I have difficulty getting up off the floor since my knee surgery. I got a round pillow for my feet, and I settled in. Breathing deeply, eyes closed, and tried to get my mind to be as quiet as the room. It takes time and practice to reach an empty mind…and even then, some thoughts pass through. I am reminded of how much faster and with so much less effort I get to a comfortable level for myself by being here in person. I open my eyes when I feel my comfort level. I notice the sun shining through the windows, leaving shadows and shapes along the wall and floor. I can feel its warmth even though I am not sitting in the light. I turn to my right, look out another window, and see the beauty of fall in the color of the leaves. I appreciate the gift of silent color in those multi-tones of orange, red, yellow, and green. The leaves remind me of earthly delights. The deep blue sky reminds me of my people who now live amongst the clouds. I miss them now but know they are somewhere up there watching over me and Chris today. The silence allows me to take in all that surrounds me in this quiet place. One does not even feel the presence of the other twenty students in the room.
My son silently re-enters the room and takes his seat on his pillow. Slowly and softly, he welcomes us all. He is an excellent teacher. He understands and welcomes the fact that we are all in different stages of our practice and encourages us to proceed through this time together, taking good care of ourselves, by reminding us to move if we must, walk if we need to, so long as we do it in silence. We will have a 45-minute meditation practice, and then he will ring the bell once, which lets us know that we are about halfway through our practice and can now move around to walking meditation if we choose, go enter the kitchen area and make a cup of tea or coffee or even walk outside for a few minutes if we are so inclined on this gorgeous fall day. Some of us even choose just to sit and continue meditating. Again, all done in silence. I amble slowly to the tea room, make myself a cup, and slowly carry it back to my chair. I hold the cup in my hand and feel its warmth, and again I am reminded of how grateful I am to be here on this beautiful fall day in an atmosphere of peace with Mother Nature just outside the window. Soon, the bell rings, and we settle in for the last 20 minutes of silent meditation before moving on to our Dharma talk. I breathe, settle in again, and clear my mind as best I can. Certainly much better than I ever do at home. Suddenly the bell rings three times…meditation is over. We meditated for 50 minutes today. I did it with ease. Then I remember my first time on the mat. After five minutes, I was restless. I have come a long way in my practice. Fifty minutes felt just right.
Slowly we come back to center, and Chris now starts his talk. I’m always curious as to what he will teach us today. What teachings of the Buddha will he share? He starts with this sentence. “If by renouncing a lesser happiness one may realize a greater happiness, let the wise ‘person’ renounce the lesser, having regard for the greater.” Silence as we ponder that thought. He then goes on to explain to us that the text is from The Dhammapada. This is a book of quotes that the Buddha reads from to explain how the mind works. Reread the quote. What does it say to you? If I got his explanation right, it means don’t jump at anything you might take as happiness, but sometimes, if we wait, we will find the true happiness that will stay with us. Not all happiness is the same or immediate. We need to learn what is worth waiting for rather than just settling because something feels right at the moment.
I have learned about meditation and the Dhamma talks following that; the process makes me think more apparent, perhaps because I have a much quieter and more open mind. I also find that long after leaving the meditation hall, I am still thinking about the talk. On this day, it was the quotes from the Dhammapada. How often in our daily lives and struggles do we grab what we think is happiness when it isn’t? Is it a quick fix to make us feel better in the moment? Is it something we use to dull our senses instead of working out a more significant problem where we might have true happiness at the end of what we accomplish? Each of us has to find the answer for ourselves.
Here are the rest of the questions that were presented this morning…
Better it is to live one day wise and mediative day than it is to live a hundred years…uncontrolled.
Better it is to live one day virtuous and meditative than it is to live a hundred years…uncontrolled.
Better it is to live one day seeing the rise and fall of things than to live a hundred years…without ever seeing the rise and fall of things.
Better it is to live one day strenuous and resolute than it is to live a hundred years sluggish and dissipated.
These questions were the Buddha’s path to wisdom. I took them home with me, and I ponder their meaning when I have a few minutes of quiet time. Some I can see clearly because I have come far enough in my life to be able to look back to where I have been and how far I have come, and hopefully, with whatever time I have left, I will review the rest and see where I have more work to do. I find the process of meditation and the talks enlightening and uplifting. I don’t always get the message right away, and sometimes I don’t get the message at all, but most often, I see how the words fit into my daily life. Life is a process full of constant change. Some are good, some not so good. Since meditation, I like to think of it as a practice. I practice getting life right every day. I’m not always on the right track, so I need to remember these words when I want immediate happiness instead of working for greater happiness.
At the end of the talk, Chris encouraged all who had questions or comments to speak. I never do, but I learn a lot from listening to those that do. People are curious as to how to relate to the talks. We learn from the teacher and each other.
As I leave, I put my mat and pillow back in the closet and quietly walk out of the meditation hall. I feel lighter and so peaceful. I am happy to be back in person with like-minded people. We can now talk to each other, and it feels good to chat with some of the people I have missed over the last two years. People that I only meet here at mediation. I think about this, and I know it is a great gift that we give to ourselves and each other. A time for silent reflection. A time to let go of all the external pressures of life. We have nowhere else to be at this moment…so we just breathe and let the thoughts pass through as they come into our minds. No need to worry. I will now take home the peace I have found here and, once again, begin practicing at home. Carving out quiet time for myself. We often let the business of life fill our minds and hearts. We need to give to ourselves first and go out into the world feeling lighter and more in control. I wish you all quiet reflection moments as you pass through your busy days. Wishing you peace and loving kindness every day, knowing how unique you are and how to take care of yourself as well as you take care of others.
“Loving-kindness is a profound recognition that our lives have something to do with one another, that everyone counts, and that everyone matters.”
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. ”
“Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think. ”
