At the end of each school year, the boys and I have a special day. A day for just the two of us to go out for lunch, chat, and shop. This year, for several reasons, I didn’t think we were going to get our special day. First of all, the school year didn’t end as it usually does. Coronavirus gave it a new ending. The boys had already been home for months. Secondly, where would we go and what could we do. I wasn’t going to go to a mall shopping with these guys and face masks were a must. As it turned out, the boys decided that this one special day a year was so important to them and to me that each one of them came up with their own plan that would work for us.
My first date was with Jaxson. He had it all figured out by the time I picked him up. He wanted Chipotle rice and McDonald’s nuggets for his special lunch. So easy to do and he was very happy to eat in the car. It actually was lovely because with just the two of us we had some good conversation and as many of you already know Jaxson is never for a loss of words…I have missed those days with him since the virus arrived. For two months we didn’t get to see the boys or our own children except from the driveway or the staircase in their house so being in the car with him was a bonus although since Mother’s Day we did move a bit closer to each other, at first with a lot of social distancing. Today was our day though and the first day we were alone together in the car. I knew of a store that we both loved, that would not be crowded and I would get a wonderful cup of tea and Jaxson would shop. Barnes and Noble. A favorite of ours for all these many years. The boys just love poking around in there, looking at books, scanning the toy aisle, and making choices. Jaxson doesn’t linger when he sees what he wants that’s it. Today he found himself a Harry Potter wizard wand. He burned my ear off for 30 minutes telling me all that that wand could do and how happy he was to have it. That it was magical. I was hoping the wand would whisk us away to New Zealand but he didn’t know how to do that trick yet. Then instead of a reading book this time he wanted a notebook, with an elastic to keep it closed. Plain paper for writing and drawing. No lines. The kid has good taste, he ended up with a Moleskin in a brilliant color that he loves and continues to carry around. It’s a small size so it’s easy for him to travel with. I checked it out the other day, nothing is written or drawn in it yet but he still carries it. I just love how he defines his life. No stress, just moving along. It was a refreshing day of no cares being with him. He doesn’t give you much time to worry because his mind is full of good thoughts and ideas. He’s too busy filling you in with all the good things happening in his life right now. He’s the perfect escape from reality.
My second date was with Liam just this week. He is 10 now and very creative. He came up with a plan for us to get Panera take-out and go to the beach and while we had our lunch we watched a movie together on his I-phone, a lovely Disney movie which of course I do not remember the title of. The weather was not really beach weather and we eventually ended up watching the movie in the car. His iPhone, perched on the open door of the glove compartment, where we could both see it. He was really happy with his mango smoothie and mac&cheese. I had a great Asian salad. I thought his idea was super creative and so relaxing. He didn’t need to go shopping for a gift because we did his shopping on-line. Like Jaxson, he knew exactly what he wanted. The hardest part for him was waiting for it to arrive in the mail. He got himself a lovely skateboard. I made sure he had all the necessary safety equipment for it at home. After lunch and the movie, even though the sky was a bit ominous we headed over to the skateboard park so he could try out his board. He was pretty cautious about it and went slowly and was just getting the feel of it when the sky opened up. He wasn’t ready to give up but back he came to the car. We waited to see if the storm would pass but it never did. He gave it his best shot though and got thoroughly soaked. Ah, to be a kid again with a new toy.
It wasn’t our usual special day but it was possibly one of our better end of the school year days. I looked at Jaxson at one point bopping around Barnes and Noble with his little face mask on and I thought, life shouldn’t be like this for him or his brother. They should be free to live life without the challenges of a pandemic. His sweet face hidden behind that mask. But then we took that selfie when we got home and we talked about how our photo came out and I said “I don’t think I can see your smile as much with your mask” and he said to me…” sure you can Nana, just look at my eyes” and so I did. Yes, indeed he was smiling. To him, the mask is just another part of his day. He’d rather not wear it but then again if he had his way he’d rather not wear shoes either. The boys know what the pandemic is about, they know they have to be careful as they move through their day but they also know it’s not the end of the world. They still do all that they want to do without a lot of fuss. They miss being with their friends but are fortunate to play games with them on the computer. The mask is part of their new reality and never once was there a complaint from either of them when the time came to put it on. I’m so proud of both of them.
You know, they have been teaching me lessons since the day they were born, the two of them. What made this day more special is that they are still teaching me. Having lunch in the car and watching a movie with Liam was magical. At one point he picked up my hand and held it and told me that he missed me at the beginning of the pandemic. How sweet, a memory for me to carry into the days ahead that might seem heavy or sad for me. Jaxson, well all you have to do with him is to listen. He will spin you around with his stories and enchant you with his magic and enthusiasm for life. What more could one ask for during a pandemic?
So yes, the virus is here and it will stick around for a while longer, how long we don’t know. More challenges will come to us all and I know life with the boys can change on a dime…When they go back to school we will have to social distance again but at least we have had this time to renew the solid relationship that we shared before the virus. I also know that they will come up with some unique ways for us to celebrate each other. I’m sure they will stretch our imaginations much further than we could on our own. I also notice that they are much closer now which is wonderful to see. They have learned to be best friends during these many at home months.
What I know for sure is that these boys, the loves of my life, still have lessons to teach me. They will learn to navigate in these new times and they will pull Jim and me along with them. I am grateful for every moment spent with them. They are our future. They are the peacemakers and the problem solvers of a new world, the New United States. We will be in very good hands with this generation. There is hope yet to come.
The Buddha says nothing is permanent. I keep that in the front of my mind when times get difficult or sad. I remember this is a season and we will pass through it like every other season. Let’s hope when we get to the other side we remember what really important lessons this season has taught us. My list of wants will be much shorter, with much more meaning.
“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome,
I want to be improbable and beautiful,
and afraid of nothing, as if I had wings.
Mary Oliver
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